Post by Brock Tue Dec 10, 2013 6:31 pm Franky wrote: I would also work the Step as my Sponsee worked the Step. May God bless you and keep you-until then. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this. Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument. Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will say I bet they do it maybe not so long either. Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new, by the complete readiness with which we throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does? He got drunk. We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake about that. This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter. And you may be tempted to let him do so. Favorite Passages in the Big Book There are four editions of the Big Book. More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. I became an unwelcome hanger-on at brokerage places. I pushed a drink across the table. When drinking, or getting over a bout, an alcoholic, sometimes the model of honesty when normal, will do incredible things. We have seldom told them the whole truth nor have we followed their advice. In fact, he may say almost anything if he has accepted our solution which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty. The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. It will permit the rehabilitation of good men. Perhaps they created the impression that he is to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed on a pedestal. Without knowing it, had we not been brought to where we stood by a certain kind of faith? Four: You may have a husband of whom you completely despair. He did, and also sent a small amount of money. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people! This is perhaps difficult-especially discussing our defects with another person. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. The Big Book outlines the AA program of recovery. You put me on the spot every time you get drunk. If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity. Yet early next morning he searches madly for the bottle he misplaced the night before. 8-c. Has there been a desire to make any changes in it? For the 11 point font, Holidays in Ocean Alley is 36,200 words including the front matter and list of my other books at the back. Here, for instance, is a typical example: An officer of one of the largest banking institutions in America knows I no longer drink. Here were three exceptional men lost to this world because I did not understand alcoholism as I do now. Here is a modern version of the fourth chapter, originally called We Agnostics. Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. Still the play does not suit him. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. People like you are too heartbreaking. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. The chances are that we have domestic troubles. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. And does not science demonstrate that visual proof is the weakest proof? It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didnt deserve. She will want to know who the woman is and where she is. Some of our alcoholic readers may think they can do without spiritual help. 39 How many times is the word powerless used in the first 164 pages? You might say you appreciate his abilities, would like to keep him, but cannot if he continues to drink. You can use any of our indexes with either edition. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him. Business and professional men have regained their standing. They will always materialize if we work for them. Here is a brief account: Years ago, in 1935, one of our number made a journey to a certain western city. One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading this book in manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depending upon a doctors advice. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. After a time I returned to the hospital. As we say among ourselves, He wants to want to stop.. At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. In any event, try to have your husband read this book. If he is, and is still trying to recover, he will tell you about it even if it means the loss of his job. We hope it strikes home to thousands like him. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. His alcoholic problem was taken away. We know these suggestions are sometimes difficult to follow, but you will save many a heartbreak if you can succeed in observing them. This, the first translation of the core 164 pages of the Big Book, is written by a sober 12-year member of AA. Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment. It was a devastating blow to my pride. If you are sure your man does not want to stop, he may as well be discharged, the sooner the better. Nearly always, these antics indicate nothing more than temporary conditions. Actually my personal favorite text of the Big Book is not IN the 164 pages but speaks OF the program laid out in the first 164 pages. When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic. BIG BOOK INDEX FIRST 164 PAGES 4 SUBJECT PAGE(S) PARAGRAPH(S) Step 9 76 Through 84 3 Ending in 1 Step 10 84 Through 85 2 & 2 Step 11 85 Through 88 3 Step 12 89 (Chapter 7) Trust In God 68 2 Unpaid Debts 78 2 When In Doubt 164 1, 2 & 3 Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading 164 and More - Types of meetings, chair persons, intergroups, phone system, Thank GOD the first 164 pages has not changed except for a few words and for that I am very grateful. Lets talk about it later. If your husband is trying to live on a spiritual basis, he will also be doing everything in his power to avoid disagreement or contention. The Wright brothers almost childish faith that they could build a machine which would fly was the main- spring of their accomplishment. We have shown how we got out from under. Next he can be assured that you do not intend to lecture, moralize, or condemn; that if this was done formerly, it was because of misunderstanding. We finally sought employment ourselves as destitution faced us and our families. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witch burners. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. In one western city and its environs there are one thousand of us and our families. This case contains a powerful lesson. There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Type the first few characters of your word-of-interest into the search box in the upper right corner. This is particularly true of women. A doctor said to us, Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency. That was a hard thought. Often you must carry the burden of avoiding them or keeping them under control. It didnt work. Of what is he thinking? We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them. They often jeopardize their own positions by trying to help serious drinkers who should have been fired long ago, or else given an opportunity to get well. Search out another alcoholic and try again. Your house is filled with strangers. How could he possibly make a public statement exonerating his rival? Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic. He may be broke and homeless. As you type, words are displayed which match your keystrokes. HAVING MADE our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Show him, from your own experience, how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured-these are the conditions we have found most effective. He becomes still less communicative. How many copies of the Second Edition were sold or distributed? We began to ask medical advice as the sprees got closer together. But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. Love and tolerance of others is our code. Massage Envy Membership Cancellation, Then, gathering all his forces, he attempted to stop altogether and found he could not. The mind and body are marvelous mechanisms, for mine endured this agony two more years. will add more attitude to your Bagger than a . But dont remind him of this after he had been drinking, for he may be angry. . I was staring at an inch of the tape which bore the inscription XYZ-32. We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. For the leading contributor. Have there been any significant changes in the first 164 pages? We stayed on and on. If you act upon these principles, your husband may stop or moderate. But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished. Common words are needed to keep the book to a reasonable size and an affordable cost. Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end. Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. Drinking cold small beer. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day Thy will be done. We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. The door opened and he stood there, fresh-skinned and glowing. Should it happen again, regard it in a different light. Even though your protg may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. It's a way of life. Or with the General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous. Show him that as alcoholics, the writers of the book understand. Is he not usually brilliant, fast-thinking, imaginative and likeable? I well remember the shock I received when a prominent doctor in Chicago told me of cases where pressure of the spinal fluid actually ruptured the brain. Feel better. Once he started, he had no control whatever. As the whisky rose to my head I told myself I would manage better next time, but I might as well get good and drunk then. I won't quote it, but look at the subtitle on the title page in the big book. In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). The matter of physical treatment should, of course, be referred to your own doctor. Each is interested in having his or her wishes respected. I was amazed. Big Book content exclude its stories. A Secular Sobriety Including a Secular Version of the First 164 Pages of the Big Book is available as a paperback or kindle at Amazon USA or at Amazon Canada.. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within. Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism (generally known as The Big Book because of the thickness of the paper used in the first edition) is a 1939 basic text, describing how to recover from alcoholism.Written by William G. "Bill W." Wilson, one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and many of the first 100 Common words are needed to keep the book to a reasonable size and an affordable cost. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so. Though experience had made him skeptical, he finished his treatment with unusual confidence. The employer can many times protect the victim from this kind of talk. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.. Perhaps there is a better way-we think so. Successful readjustment means the opposite. They will be only too glad to assist you. I still expected a plea for clemency, but these words came through the receiver: I just wanted to tell you Paul jumped from a hotel window in Hartford last Saturday. These family dissensions are very dangerous, especially to your husband. As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. Yes, we had been faithful, abjectly faithful to the God of Reason. He clings to the notion that he will yet find a way to do so. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. First, there were many. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory. Time after time, this apparent calamity has been a boon to us, for it opened up a path which led to the discovery of God. Thus, highlighting will ultimately not work at all.Copyright 2005-2013 by Recovery Press. Bound in burgundy bonded leather, with gold gilding on the edges of the pages. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. Program, the very first page of the Big Book clearly states that is not the case! His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. Is he worth salvaging? Some of the promises are directly associated with completion of a step. No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. A word about sex relations. They cannot seem to forgive and forget. It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office. Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better chance that the head of the family will recover. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time! Long experience with alcoholic excuses naturally arouses suspicion. But be careful not to be resentful about the last time he did so. Men under them are frequently their friends. He looked straight at me. Goes off his head completely when hes drinking. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. In one form or another we had been living by faith and little else. -Big Book p.55 | More God The word God appears 142 times on 69 pages in the Big Book (first 164 pages) -Big Book | More Acceptance In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation, and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wifes hope. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. His case presents additional questions which we shall try to answer for you. We shall tell you what we have done. Our activities in behalf of women who drink are on the increase. AA fellowship is actually not nearly as effective as it once was. The other day an approach was made to the vice president of a large industrial concern. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. In some cases it may be better to let someone outside the family present the book. You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. The market would recover, but I wouldnt. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. Father knows he is to blame; it may take him many seasons of hard work to be restored financially, but he shouldnt be reproached. To me these occurrences are phenomena. Jerry needed to know so he started upon a project to identify the changes that were made to various printings and editions of the Big Book. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Entire Original Manuscript (about) including the stories. Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker. What is his basic trouble? Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic. No outsider can appraise such an intimate situation. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along. Whatever the method, its object is to thoroughly clear mind and body of the effects of alcohol. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. He did no drinking until he was thirty-five. Simply look up a familiar word to find the passage you seek. Following his discharge, we contacted him. I could go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however loving His sway might be. The Big Book has given me that comfort and the push to move forward. Im sure it would work if I could only believe as he believes. He talked for hours. He made up his mind to quit drinking altogether. A community thirty miles away has fifteen fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. 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