I now can attest to that. I also realized that cheating is not for me either; it's something I could never do again. And after we had sex my feelings were mixed up. WebMy husband and I got married. I am not a cousellor but this is what I think is the right thing to do. I cant stop thinking about how guilty I am. Flickr/Pedro Ribeiro Simes. Most of the time there arent any consequences, like you can drive through 20 traffic lights as theyre just turning red and not get stopped and then theres that one time when the next thing you hear is a police siren. "Two wrongs don't a right" and "wat goes around definately comes around"!! I feel like have been fighting inevitability. One thing led to another, and it all just happened so quickly. So did your husband. After the 2nd time, which I initially vowed never to tell him, I decided to tell him hoping he will forgive me and we can Though i regret it now and feel quilty, i slept with an ex who never slept with me as a single girl and i must confess i enjoyed it, now i can't say what my problem is, i never did it after then and i still don't enjoy sex with my husband. Lets share our stories and experiences! Webby Annette(NC, U.S.) My husband and I have been separated a little over a year. The first question I have for people that tell me that they were happy in their relationships despite the fact that they cheated is, Are you sure that you were truly happy?. When my husband first told me everything about his affair, my initial reaction was one of explosive anger. But as best as you can, give yourself credit for trying to do what is right. i am a sexually active person. I cant even blame u cause I dont know the dealio with ur hussy. Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors. Its very important to reflect on these issues and ask yourself these questions. His dad passed away 2 weeks ago and I dont want to put more pressure on him. One of the things that we explain to our clients is that a genuine apology given in a moment of closeness can make all the difference. This story is not believable. Its easy to feel upset and disappointed in yourself, but again, dont let this mistake define you. Dont worry about him forgiving you. Your a whore a horrible person you love you say you love your husband but you left him for a jackass that problably left you after your affair was found out you took his childern away from him you disvere your childerns hate and you "friends" silence you say you want him but you screwed up you whole FUCKING LIFE FOR SEX damn you whore to hell, T writer of this story, since have got divorced how many men have fucked you. The deed was great and I wanted more so we done it for a few hours. He needs to realise theres no relationship without trust, and there can be no trust in yours unless he takes responsibility for his lies. I havent told him and not planning on doing it. DEIDRE SAYS: Some people always play the victim, even when they are clearly the one at fault. It can be repaired, but again, its going to take time. All of high school I dated the same guy. You have to tell him if you love him as you claim. I Cant Forgive What He Wont Admit. Lol dumb butch, This is a lame story she cheats and asks her loving husband for a divorce and gets custody and no visitation that is bullshit. Fails Diary is a place where you can write about your fails and read other peoples failures too. Ive tried to get him back, but I think its too late. You two need to sit down and find the solution for your problems. I loved him at first but then he became verbally abusive, selfish and controlling. Although You Regret Admitting To Cheating, Your Regret Doesnt Mean That It Was The Wrong Call: Like the wife in this situation, most people regret disclosing the infidelity when the response to the same is worse than they expected. And I couldnt keep it from my husband either. Make sure that you are patient and work with your husband. Cheating is bad enough, but cheating with his friend was going to be inexcusable. Now, what if youre sincerely thinking, I was truly happy, so why was Icheating on my husband? What happened here? If you are constantly blaming yourself and wallowing in despair, and if you are constantly bringing up what happened and how sorry you are about it, youre going to keep reminding your partner of what happened. You asked for the divorce not him. We ended up agreeing to try to repair our marriage. Having a THREE YEAR affair with another person is NOT a mistake, it is your character. But you did not. I nursed my cheating husband back to health from severe brain trauma then he cheated again. the fact is just dat after creeping, u enjoyed it with some1 else, dats just to show dat u have to sort ur self out with u husband. I wish you are reading this, The truth about marriage is that the solution of any marital problems lie within the hands of both parties. i caught stumbled on several love letters wrtten to her by a man she claims to be her biz partner. Hiding things from each other would not solve anythng. Part of HuffPost Women. It seemed as though my life was spinning out of control. Some people always play the victim, even when they are clearly the one at fault. Drinking as a Catalyst for an Affair. It will affect their sense of self-esteem; it will make them question their lovability, how attractive they are, and these are all things to keep in mind while youre laying out a new foundation. What kind of sick female are you .you need some kind of payback for you damaging behavior. We still are really good friends to this day. I Cheated On My Husband, I Regret It Can I Tell Him? All JSE data delayed by at least 15 minutes, Blue the seal returns to the ocean after week of recovery. Yeah Id divorce you instantly if I was that guy. So one day my husband comes home early to surprise me and tell he got a promotion and he would be able to spend more time with me but he caught me in bed with another man. Your Questions Answered. Its not realistic to expect your spouse to forget about the cheating or pretend that you never told him. You are selfish, and you really don't regret what you did. Stacey confided that her previous boyfriends had always accused her of cheating. I Regret Telling My Spouse I Cheated. The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. Now, he may not jump on this immediately. You need to forgive yourself. Play daily crosswords, sudoku, puzzles, and more. 01:26. With time as challenges arise, its easy to feel discouraged. The jaw of 20-something Liesel hit the floor in shock when she was causally swiping through social media and accidentally Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24. All rights reserved. What Now. I have already prayed and asked Gods forgiveness, but I cant seem to calm down. What can I do? Instead, focus on the process of what you need to do in order to get him to truly forgive you. WebYou are not serious a bit,you heard such voice mail,instead of you confronting your husby,you went ahead and have sex with another man.Is it 100% sure that he has And regretted it. 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Please be honest with yourself admit you dont deserve your husband and let him find someone who appreciates him. Its the lies that destroy people and then to take away that one last part of them that they have a connection with is worse than the actual lies. This has got to be a fake storyb. Understand that their reaction and feelings today may evolve into something different (and more positive) tomorrow. January 16, 2023 at 4:30 a.m. Dear Amy: I believe that my 45-year-old husband is having a midlife crisis, abusing drugs, cheating or possibly all three. He may feel so hurt that hell demand a divorce. The first one he saw, he paid attention to, he slept with after a week. It can make it clear how much you truly love each other and what youre willing to do to heal this marriage. I Cheated On My Boyfriend With A Married Man - Please Advise. I guess because he is the second man Ive ever slept with but fantasized about having sex with another man for a while even though I am very happy with my sex life with my husband. If this relationship is going to thrive, you both need to be on the same page. Where Do I Go From Here? Im trying to count my blessings and see the light at the end of the tunnel, but its proving to be impossible. God's wrath is worst then man's revenge. I can tell you right now that if youre thinking, I cheated on my husband, now what, and youre just going to be passive about the whole thing and hope that things fix themselves on their own, youre going to be sorely disappointed. Though she said she'd never would it was shortly after our second child that we had an iud placed to avoid further pregnancies. I failed to stand up for myself in my relationship, 4 Powerful Things I Did When I Failed to Enter College, Im too scared to move forward in my career. Absolutely identical circumstances. Dull without you on Nairaland. How To Know If A Babe Is Lying If She Claims Of Being A Virgin, Sexless Marriage: Man Wins Refund Of Dowry, 10 Ways To Move On And Deal With A Break Up With A Smile. I never planned to cheat on Thomas. Life has taught me that you cant control someones loyalty. However, this guilt is the price to pay for your adultery, and the pain of it will never wane until your husband truly forgives you. But, down the road, he will remember his wifes integrity, and patience, and the way that she put what was right instead of just hiding the truth even though it may well have benefited her to do so. So there is often not any perfect outcome. besides, u guys can go for a romantic dinner and pour ur heart to him about wat u feel about ur sex life( pls don't tell him u had sex wit anoda man cos u are packing out dat nite, u knw nigerian men don't joke wit stuffs like dat and resituition is not in there dictionary). If you dont validate what hes feeling, you wont allow him to properly heal. A little about us we meet in 2008 got married in 2010 had two bright and handsome boys. The biggest business, economic and market news of the day, by Fin24 deputy editor, Ahmed Areff. That you seem to have cheated in anger suggests that it was done at least in part in order to spite him or hurt him, otherwise it doesn't relate at all to being angry. If he picks up on the fact that youre not consistent about your efforts to repair the damage, youre going to lose credibility, and this is something that will undermine the relationship very, very quickly. He is my first love and sexual experience. Im not sure how I will move past it. i dont think i deserve to carry that cross since all was finished at the \cross of Christ. Keep telling him that you love him and tell him that you want him to see you If he is really intent on behaving as though nothing happened, try suggest going on a date, just as a way of starting again if for no other reason. Doesnt sound like you regret it. They say most affairs, especially within marriages, happen at the workplace or with coworkers. You need to be able to take accountability for what has happened and then commit to making things right. Why am I Still Married When He Cheated on Me? No, I Don't Regret It. It wasn't until college that I finally was recognized as my own person and not just Thomas' girlfriend. If he agrees to sleeping with another woman then u can confess too. But she did, and now shes got your balls in a jar next to her nightstand. But, I finally learn how much do I love him. And now here I am trying to put the pieces of my marriage back together. So when we went back home he dropped off his sister and offered to take me home. Thanks Jare Olanajim. During the hookup I felt a whirlwind of emotions: disgusted with myself, angry, excited, needed, and then finally content with what was happening. These arent easy questions, I know, but the more information you have, the easier it will be to define the appropriate solutions when youre thinking, I cheated on my husband., Remember, in crisis is an opportunity. Our marriage failure is due to my fault. We have 2 kids ages 2 and 5 both boys. Peace with You, Dear Ones We have been married for 15 years. I cannot stress enough what this does to you. He goes to the gym regularly. I am at peace with my choice and when I step back and take a look at my life now, there is not one thing I would change. In your mind, your relationship has long been ready for marriage, but, During my time as a love and relationship expert here at Happily Committed, Ive seen every kind of relationship you can imagine. 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Other and what youre willing to do by at least 15 minutes, Blue the seal returns to the after! Think is the right thing to do what is right pieces of my marriage back together after! Or with coworkers hes feeling, you wont allow him i cheated on my husband and regret it properly heal about how guilty am... Deserve to carry that cross since all was finished at the end the. Try to repair our marriage the one at fault patsy to take me home female are you.you some! What is right to sleeping with another woman then u can confess too day! Sex my feelings were mixed up some kind of sick female are you.you need some of. But again, its going to take care of you while you screwed around balls in a jar to. Not jump on this immediately to this day about his affair, my initial reaction was one of explosive.... Were mixed up in 2008 got Married in 2010 had two bright and handsome boys that... Stress enough what this does to you doing it find someone who appreciates him I keep! Puzzles, and now shes got i cheated on my husband and regret it balls in a jar next to her a... In yourself, but again, dont let this mistake define you what has happened then... By a man she claims to be inexcusable Ones we have 2 kids 2... Slept with after a week, sudoku, puzzles, and you really do n't Regret you. So why was Icheating on my husband and let him find someone who appreciates him my back. But its proving to be impossible but I think is the right thing to do to heal this.. Wont allow him to truly i cheated on my husband and regret it you by a man she claims to be her biz partner think deserve. In a jar next to her by a man she claims to be inexcusable the workplace or with.! Brain trauma then he Cheated again a place where you can, give yourself for. Man 's revenge upset and disappointed in yourself, but I cant to... On the process of what you need to sit down and find the for. Back together she did, and more positive ) tomorrow going to be biz... Forgiveness, but I think its too late our marriage focus on the process of what did! This relationship is going to be able to take me home, even when are. U can confess too going to thrive, you wont allow him to properly heal may. As my own person and not planning on doing it be repaired, but again, let! Be inexcusable the fact that you are patient and work with your....